When the bottle is empty
I find my mind at ease,
Invincible if you will.
Your cold hearted tone
No longer touches my aching heart.
The arguments cease their repetition in my mind
All I hear is silence.
An oxymoron of course,
But all is at a stand still
Today was another one of those days.
Another roller coaster I wasn't wanting to ride.
Yet, forced upon me, I held on tightly.
Today was not the day to fall off,
Perhaps tomorrow...
As the moon illuminates my paper,
I begin to wonder if this is all I'll have.
Will my only committed relationship be to my words?
They seem to always be there in my times of need
You-only when convenient.
I still continue my fight for you,
Pre-determined as it is that I shall lose.
Wanting to give up, but never willing
Your eyes shut off from the world, from me
Your smile captivating.
Looking for another cigarette now,
Doing my best to keep my tears hidden.
Where'd I put that bottle?
As my vices wear off
I begin to wonder if they are friend or foe,
Yet I continue the search for more...